Understanding Asexuality


If there is any movie that perfectly describes the person that I am, it is the French film Amelie. It is incredibly challenging to admit and indeed with it comes a sense of shame, stigma and isolation, but in truth I have never felt sexually attracted to anyone. I may have a sex drive, but it is not stimulated by sexual fantasy and I am not at all compelled by a need for sexual contact neither do I go searching for it. When I am attracted to someone, it is merely because of a deep need to feel connected emotionally.

Some of us – like me – are not averse to romance and commitment including sexual contact, but only after a considerably deep emotional connection has been created. It is true that I have never bonded with anyone and, in fact, have only ever experienced quite hostile and cruel men that has caused me to further withdraw, however like in Amelie has a lack of physical bonding growing up – a loving embrace, a warm kiss on the forehead – educated me to feel no need for bonding as an adult? Read More